Paroles de 'The Incredible Fuck' par Blowfly

I'ma tell you the story of a scientist
Whose experiments were very odd
He dreamed of creatin' a formula
That would make men's dicks stay hard
He advertised in the paper
'Bout some lucky guy who needed a gain

So I went to apply for the motherfuckin' job
Not knowing I would be a guinea pig
He said, just stay calm
I promise you, you won't get hurt
I've tried this shit on frogs and hogs
And I tell you, goddammit, it worked!

He said, you see this shit here in this needle?
It's gonna change your whole motherfuckin' life
He said, when I get through with that prick of yours
I'ma let you try it out on my wife. Yeah!
I said, what? Yea

She laid down and spreaded her legs
And said, boy, come on in
But when I pulled my dick out
The hog began to grin

She said, degrate myself with something like that?
Huh, not me
She said, you may not believe this
But I've seen bigger pricks on a flea
And that made me mad, yeah

So I climbed up on top of this bitch
And I put my dick in to the hip
I said, just lay back and get ready bitch
While I give you some of my filth (show me)
The cunt on this bitch was so fuckin' big
I swear I was like fuckin' outer space

And after I put my dick in this bitch
I think I was up to my waist
I said, help somebody! (help me! Help me! Incredible)
She said, fucking something like this
I tell ya is a disaster!

Then that bitch wrapped her legs around my waist
And said, fuck me you fucking bastard! (Fuck me! Fuck me!)
Suddenly something strange began to happen to me
As my prick began to rise (say what)
It grew and it grew and it grew and it grew to
Eighty times its size! (God damn)

She started to scream as I shot a load in her
As her pussy broke up like glass
It came out her mouth and her eyes and her nose
And out of the crack a her ass

She hollered and screamed and screamed
And hollered as she began to shit
But this four-feet ten-inch prick of mine
Had tore her pussy to bits, yeah!

The incredible fuck
Yeah, the incredible fuck

I told my friends
What had happened and they thought it all was lies
So I dropped my pants to show 'em my prick
But it was back to its normal size
I tried to tell them what thad happened
But they swear I must be wrong
They said, how could a pussy be s-ripped to bits
By a prick only two inches long? (it's the money)
Yeah, I couldn't understand that shit my goddamn self

Suddenly hoes from everywhere came running
To find out if it was true
That a dude with a two-inch prick
Could make the walls of a chick's pussy cave through
It was true all motherfuckin' right
And they was dying to find out, yeah

The incredible fuck
It was too big to suck
I had to carry it on a truck
Ah, what motherfucking luck

Then one morning I read in the paper
Something that made me sick
Some dumb cracker was giving a million dollars
To anyone with the biggest prick
Then suddenly it occurred to me
That money's what I've been after
I could win this shit
If I only I could get someone to call me a bastard
Yeah!

Incredible fuck is what I will be
Talking 'bout minerals and protein
Man my dick was full
So I went on and entered the contest
Not knowing I had to compete against a bull
There was also a dinosaur, a hippopotamus and a gorilla
And just when I thought that I had it made
I looked around and there was Godzilla
Huh huh huh

I started to get scared
My knees started shaking, yeah
The juror was a redneck
He said, all this motherfucking shit I mastered
He said, drop your pants
And show that prick of yours you nigga bastard
And he shouldn't have did that goddamn shit

Suddenly horns grew out of my head
A devil tail growin' behind
My eyes crossed all up and shit (oh shit)
Train smoke started coming out my nose (check out that dick)
And that prick of mine started to rise
And rise and rise and rise! And rise!
Till it was taller than the empire state building

The shit was sticking up in the air so far
Planes had to re-route themselves to keep from running into it
The Moon had to get off its axis and go the other motherfucking way
Because that prick of mine was way up there in the atmosphere, ya queer
Yeah ah ah haha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah

And I won the money, honey
All of that shit
And then I looked around
And that was the dinosaur, mad
And that was Godzilla
So you know what I did there

I rammed Godzilla in the ass
And then I got a hole to the bull
I threw his motherfucking ass
In the cellar as steaks
Which left my 'frigerator full

Yeah, the incredible fuck
Gotta carry it in my truck
What motherfucking luck
It's too big to suck
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
Ha ha aah ah ah ah

I like to say somethin' about a friend of mine
Who swears that he can rap
He talk all kinda shit on the radio
Like his motherfucking lips got the clap
The motherfucker that I'm rapping about

I'm sure that you all know
All the faggots call him darling
But you know him as Kurtis blow
You think he's good, you think he's it
But I'm here to tell you that he ain't shit
'Cause his ass can't take what his ears will see
'Cause I cum on his mind make him weak in the knees
Play with his woman's pussy till the hairs turn red
Make her jerk off her daddy, give a mammoth some head
Keep her cumming till there ain't none left
'Cause I can fuck so good I wanna fuck myself

I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ooh ah ah
Oooh, ah ah
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh-ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
Yeah!

And these, this is the way he say it
He got a little shit to talk
I say do it, I say do it, I say do it, do it, do it
But that doesn't compare with this motherfucker here

I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
Fee fee fum fum ooh ooh cum cum
Ooh ooh ah ah ooh ooh ah ah

Now when everybody up here in your town
And my prick all you chicks are after
And you don't want your pussy torn to threads
Don't call me a bastard

The incredible fuck
I have to carry it in a truck
It's too big to suck
What motherfucking luck
Yeah, uh